


an uncrowded couple

by Seascribe



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Childhood Friends, Long Distance Relationships, M/M, Polyamory, Relationship Negotiation, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-16 04:28:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8087113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seascribe/pseuds/Seascribe
Summary: A timeline of Jordie Benn falling in love, twice.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inlovewithnight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithnight/gifts).



> Thanks to Tori and Zira for helping brainstorm and for the beta.

Jamie kisses Jordie for the first time the day he leaves for Kelowna. He's curled up into a ball on Jordie's bed, pretending like he's not holding back tears while Jordie rubs his back and tries to figure out the right thing to say.

"You're gonna do great down there," Jordie says. "It's gonna be way more exciting than the BCHL. And I'll come visit all the time. Whenever we have an off day. I'll bring Courts too; it'll be just like before you got drafted."

"It won't be," Jamie says. "We won't be skating together and you won't be my captain."

"That's 'cause you're better than me now, bud," Jordie says, trying to make him smile. "We just gotta take it one season at a time."

"Til we make it to the NHL together," Jamie says, peering at Jordie over the pillow for confirmation.

"Damn right," Jordie says. There's no doubt that Jamie's gonna make the big leagues, but Jordie's not so sure about himself or Courts. That's not what Jamie needs to hear right now though. "You ready to head down there and show them what you're made of?"

Jamie nods, sitting up and scrubbing at his face. "I guess so." Jordie pulls him in for a hug, squeezing tight until he feels a little of the tension drain away and pretending not to notice the way Jamie sniffles. When he lets go, Jamie just looks at him, his expression wavering between terror and determination.

"You got this, Jay," Jordie says, just before Jamie leans in and kisses him. It's clumsy and awkward and Jamie tastes salty like tears and snot, and by the time Jordie's processed what's happening, Jamie has pulled away and is headed for the door.

*

Jordie doesn't really remember the first time Courts kisses him. It's at a party, teammates and girls and guys, and Jamie keeps laughing and pushing glasses of shitty vodka punch on him. That's the last thing Jordie remembers, sloshing back another cup, while Jamie cheers.

He drags his ass to practice the next day, because the captain can't get away with slacking off. Courts is super weird all day, twitchy and awkward and every time Jordie looks up, he feels like Courts is watching and pretending like he isn't. Maybe he's just hungover too, but Jordie doesn't think so. He puts his head down and tries to focus on not puking during drills.

Courts talks to Jamie over team burgers afterwards more than he talks to Jordie, and he doesn't invite himself over afterwards. It's weird and awful and it goes on for _three days_. Jamie starts giving both of them big-eyed, anxious looks.

Jordie tries to fix it by taking the initiative and makes Jamie text Courts to see if he wants to come over for video games and Mom's macaroni cheese.

"Are you guys fighting over a girl or something?" Jamie demands. "Why can't you just text him?"

"Because he's being weird! But he'll come over if you ask him, and we'll hang out and then things will go back to normal." That seems like a pretty solid plan to him.

It kind of works, too. Courts does come over and Jordie sits next to him on the couch and smiles at him and slaps his back when he wins. But Courts keeps twitching away and giving him hurt looks. It's not long before Jamie's glaring at Jordie in a way that clearly says "fix this," and then he gets up and leaves. Traitor.

Jordie takes a deep breathe and says, more to the game controller in his lap than Courts, "What the fuck is your problem?"

Courts' jaw drops. " _My_ problem? You're the one who isn't talking to me!"

"You're the one who's been giving me weird looks and avoiding me all week!"

"Because I thought you were mad at me!"

"Shoots, why would I be mad at you?" He can't even remember the last time he and Courts had a real fight.

Courts narrows his eyes at him. "Are you fucking with me right now?"

"No! Dude, just tell me."

Courts grits his teeth, and then blurts, "I kissed you!"

Fuck. Jordie knew there was stuff he'd forgotten from the party, but he'd woken up in his own bed with all his clothes on, so he'd figured nothing too bad could have happened. He's not sure if Courts kissing him is bad or not. Unexpectedly, definitely. But he thinks he's okay with it.

"I don't remember," he admits. "Was it--was it nice?"

Courts throws up his hands. "Well, since you don't fucking remember, I guess not!" Which isn't fair at all, it's not like Jordie'd been expecting his best friend to kiss him. If he had been, he might've turned down a couple of the drinks Jamie'd kept pouring. He's bummed that he missed it. That probably means it's not a bad thing.

"Don't act like you've never blacked out at a party before, Shoots," Jordie says mildly. "Were you drunk too?"

Courts shrugs. "A little, I guess. But at least I remember!"

"Well, maybe you could do it again? So I can remember too?" It's kind of a dumb line, but Courts whole face turns pink. Jordie thinks he's gonna get mad and stomp off, but instead he lunges in and shoves his mouth against Jordie's. Their teeth clack together and Jordie's nose is squashed against Courts' cheekbone, but it's okay. Jordie opens his mouth a little, and Courts takes the hint, licking inside.

He maybe doesn't have the finesse of some of the people Jordie's kissed, but he's enthusiastic enough to more than make up for it. They break apart, panting, and Jordie touches his fingertips to Courts' cheek, still flushed pink.

"I'm sorry I can't remember the first one," he whispers. "But that was really nice."

Courts bites his lip and grins shyly. "I'm glad. Maybe we can count that as our first one?"

That kind of sounds like he's planning on there being more, and Jordie is totally down with that.

*

The second time Jamie kisses Jordie is the day after his first season as a Rocket ends, up against the counter in their parents' kitchen at 2:53 in the afternoon. This time, it lasts longer--long enough for Jordie to kiss back--and Jamie doesn't run away after.

"I missed you," Jamie mumbles. "I've been thinking about you all season."

Jordie touches his lips, hot from the pressure of Jamie's mouth. "You think about me like this?"

"Are you mad?" Jamie curls away, his face crumpling with fear.

" _No,_ " Jordie says. He hasn't kissed a ton of people, but he pulls Jamie back in and tries out the handful of tricks he's learned from fooling around with Courts after practice and from girls he's hooked up with at parties. He must not do too bad, because Jamie makes a needy noise into his mouth and tries to shove himself even closer. "What else were you thinking about, eh?"

That leads to the first time Jordie jerks Jamie off, upstairs in Jamie's old bedroom, hot and sweaty and desperate, any potential afterglow ruined by the frantic dash to shower before Mom and Dad get home from work. Jamie's quiet at dinner and disappears as soon as he's finished helping clear the table, without saying anything to Jordie. It makes Jordie feel itchy and uncertain, but he doesn't know how to ask Jamie if they're okay.

That night, after everyone's gone to bed, Jamie sneaks into Jordie's room and wriggles under the covers with him. It's been a long time since he's done that, and he doesn't fit as neatly as he used to. Jordie doesn't mind the way Jamie has to flop half on top of him to keep from falling off, though.

"My room feels weird," Jamie says. "All my stuff's gone."

"Everything feels weird, with you gone," Jordie says. "Home, the ice, everywhere."

"At least you've still got Courts, and the rest of the team," Jamie says.

"I wish I was down there with you," Jordie mumbles, squeezing him tight. "I miss you like crazy, Jay."

Jamie sighs into his shoulder. "Me too." He's quiet and still for so long that Jordie thinks he's falling asleep, but then he mumbles, "Can we do that again? Like earlier?" He flattens his hand against Jordie's belly under his t-shirt.

There are half a dozen really good reasons why they shouldn't, but Jordie doesn't really care about any of them with the way that Jamie's thumb is tracing up and down the line of hair beneath his navel.

"Sure." His voice is strangled, but Jamie doesn't seem to notice, already shoving his hand down the front of Jordie's pyjama pants. His grip is too tight and he's not going fast enough, but Jordie doesn't care.

"Lemme do you too," he says, wriggling until he can reach Jamie's dick. Jamie pants out his agreement, rocking up into Jordie's grip.

Jamie bites down on Jordie's shoulder when he comes and it startles Jordie into his own orgasm; he groans it out against his pillow while Jamie keeps stroking him til he's wrung out and tender.

"Can I kiss you again too?" Jamie asks. He's still breathing hard, panting against Jordie's neck. Jordie doesn't bother wasting time with an answer, tipping Jamie's head up and planting a sloppy kiss on his mouth. He wishes they'd been kissing while they'd gotten off; he loves that. Maybe they'll get off again. Neither of them has anywhere to be tomorrow.

But after a couple more kisses, Jamie frowns and says, "I should go, probably?" Jordie doesn't want him to, but it's not like he can sleep here, and the jizz in his shorts is starting to feel gross.

"Yeah. I guess so," Jordie sighs. "Night."

"Night." Jamie hesitates, then kisses him one more time, quick and clumsy, and Jordie doesn't get a chance to say anything else before he slips out the door. Not that he has any idea what to say anyway.

He scrubs away the jizz cooling on his stomach and throws his dirty shorts into the hamper. Even with Jamie gone, the room still reeks of sex. He should probably open a window. Instead, he lies there and thinks about the way Jamie moved against him, the bitten down whimpers and the sloppy, eager press of his mouth afterwards. He wonders if this is how the whole summer is going to be.

*

It's sort of an accident the first time Jordie gets off with Courts. They've been skating together their whole lives, even when they were on different teams, and this season is the first time Jamie hasn't been there too. There's way more space on the sofa in the basement when they pile onto it for video game tourneys, but they still wind up pressed against each other anyway.

When Courts gets killed for the fourteenth time in a row, he tosses his controller down and flops across Jordie's lap.

"You win, man. I miss having Chubbs around so I could kick his ass, at least." He grins up at Jordie.

They've kissed a couple more times, mostly at parties, once in the hallway outside of Courts' hotel room at a tournament. Jordie likes it. He'd do it more, if Courts wanted. Courts runs his tongue over his lips, and his grin stretches a little wider.

"You're fucking with me," Jordie mumbles, and Courts laughs. He's still laughing when Jordie hunches over and kisses him. It's too awkward of a position to hold for long, but when he has to straighten up, Courts follows him, curling his fingers in his hair and licking into his mouth. This feels different than their other kisses. More urgent, with pressure and intention building behind it.

Jordie's chubbing up, and when Courts drags his thumb along the front seam of Jordie's shorts, he makes an embarrassing, needy noise.

"Can I?" Courts asks nonsensically, while Jordie grabs his wrist and shoves his palm flat against the outline of his dick, rocking up into it. Jordie bites his lip and shoves his hand down Courts' pants.

"Don't make me come in my pants," Jordie grits, because that would be mortifying and also he desperately wants to be naked, for them both to be naked, to grind up against Courts' dick and come all over his stomach. Courts seems to be on the same page, balancing precariously to kick off his sweats, while Jordie squirms out of his shorts and tries not to knock Courts off the couch.

He's pretty sure he comes too soon, but Courts only lasts a couple minutes longer, and he doesn't say anything, just flops down on top of Jordie in a squelch of jizz and presses lazy, sloppy kisses to his jaw. It's disgusting, but Jordie feels too good to care.

"Next time, 'm gonna blow you," Courts mumbles.

"Fuck yeah," Jordie agrees, and falls asleep.

*

When Jamie makes the Stars roster, after two years in Kelowna, Jordie wants to kiss him so bad he nearly sprains something holding back. It's hours later, after the hoards of congratulatory family and friends have all cleared out and gone to bed that he finally gets to drag Jamie upstairs.

Jamie knows what's coming. He's already hard in his shorts when Jordie shoves him up against his bedroom door and kisses him hard, grinding into him with his thigh shoved up against Jamie's dick.

"Fucking NHL big shot," he gasps against Jamie's mouth, and Jamie hiccups with giddy laughter. Jordie drops to his knees, yanking Jamie's shorts down with him, because Jordie is so proud of him and making the show deserves a blowjob, and he doesn't want Jamie getting it from anybody else, not tonight. Not when Jordie's got his own big news to share.

Jamie squirms and thrusts into Jordie's mouth and comes without warning him, but Jordie's feeling generous, just this once. He swallows gamely and wipes the rest on the hem of Jamie's t-shirt.

"Holy shit," Jamie says weakly, dropping his hand on Jordie's hair and petting him like he's a dog. "You win the award for best congratulations, Darth."

Jordie smirks. "Of course I do. And hey, not to steal your thunder, Chubbs, but I've got big news too." Jamie hums, fucked out and not really listening, but Jordie can't blame him. He's swaying on his feet.

"C'mon, get on the bed before you fall over." Jordie fusses over him a little, getting him out of his shirt and pulling the blankets back for him. He brushes Jamie's sweaty hair off his forehead, and Jamie whines until Jordie lies down next to him.

"What's your news?" Jamie says, rolling over to push his face against Jordie's collarbone.

Jordie grins. "I'm coming to Texas with you." It takes a few seconds to register. Then Jamie makes a confused noise.

"To Dallas?"

Jordie snorts. "Not yet. Allen, the ECHL team down there."

"Holy shit," Jamie says finally. "Jordie, for real? 'Cause this is a really shitty joke."

Jordie tugs at his hair. "It's not a joke, Jay, I swear. I've applied for an apartment down there and everything."

"Oh my god, dude. That's awesome!" Jamie stretches up to kiss him, hard and clumsy, giggling into his mouth. "Your turn for a blowjob, then."

He kisses his way down Jordie's chest, exploring his nipples, biting experimentally at his obliques and his hips, before dropping a quick kiss on the head of his dick.

"Shit, Jay," Jordie gasps. "You weren't just developing your hockey down there with the Rockets, huh?"

Jamie's burst of laughter tickles against the crease of Jordie's thigh and he squirms. "Yeah, I guess."

The thought fills Jordie with a hot, ugly burst of jealousy, but he's spent the season getting off with girls at parties and the occasional teammate in the showers and Courts...pretty much everywhere, so it's not like he's being fair. Jamie can do whatever he wants, he's not Jordie's, at least not like this. Jordie's gonna have to remember that when they get down to Texas.

Jamie bites his thigh. "You're not paying attention." He sounds a little worried, underneath the annoyance, and Jordie puts a hand on the back of his neck.

"Yeah I fuckin' am, you're just being too slow," Jordie retorts.

Jamie bites him again and then sucks hard on the head of his dick. It's too dark for Jordie to see more than the pale blur of his face, but he can still picture exactly the smug, challenging look Jamie's giving him. He doesn't think Jamie's done too much of this, but it's still pretty awesome. Jamie doesn't try to do anything fancy, just takes as much as he can and sucks hard, doing the rest with his hand, and it's really working for Jordie.

"That's it, that's perfect," he says, hand still on the back of Jamie's neck. "I'm--Jay, I'm gonna--"

Jamie pulls back, getting ready, and when Jordie comes, he swallows like a fucking pro, making a self-satisfied noise.

"Congratulations," Jamie rasps. "I'm glad you're gonna be down there with me."

"Me too, Chubbs," Jordie says, and pulls him up to kiss him. He's already thinking about how nice it's gonna be to have his own place, where they can do this without worrying about being too loud and getting caught. "It's gonna be great."

*

Jordie doesn't get why Courts wants to go to Boston, where he's gonna have to sit in classes with a bunch of nerdy 18 year old kids, but he sounds excited about it, so Jordie tries not to be too down on the whole idea. Plenty of great guys come out of the Terriers and make the show.

"Gotta go somewhere," Courts says. "Maybe this way I can learn some shit, get set up for after hockey."

"I guess that's smart," Jordie allows. He doesn't have any plans like that for himself. If he doesn't make the NHL, he'll just grind away in the minors. Maybe coach, when his body gives out. He can't really imagine any "after hockey," though, unless maybe it's after Jamie retires too.

They've always known that hockey would split them up, even when they were just kids, daydreaming with Jamie about playing for the Canucks. But it stings more than Jordie thought it would, now that it's actually happening. More than Jamie going to Kelowna, even.

"I'm gonna miss you," Jordie sighs into Courts' hip, sliding down the bed to blow him. He wants to do something, like, _meaningful_ , but they don't talk about the stuff they do together, and there's no way to stick your dick in somebody's ass without talking about it at least a little. Courts is leaving though, for good, and this feels like a last chance kind of thing.

"Gonna miss you too, buddy," Courts says, putting his hand in Jordie's hair. "But I'll come visit. We can train together next off-season, just like always."

"Yeah. Yeah, definitely." It's not even a year away. Jordie licks at the head of Courts' dick, then screws up his courage and says, "Can I fuck you?"

Courts blinks. His dick jerks, and Jordie leans down almost reflexively to lick at the spurt of precome leaking from the head.

"I--yeah. That sounds...nice." He rocks his hips a little, bumping his dick against Jordie's chin.

"I'll show you nice," Jordie says, and Courts laughs.

"Give it to me, Big Benn."

Jordie's never done this before, not really. He's fingered a couple guys, but putting his dick in is totally uncharted territory. Courts seems pretty into it, rocking down on his fingers when he finally locates the lube and slicks up, and whining high in his throat when Jordie gets to three and starts thrusting a little. He starts sounding a little less happy and a little more uncomfortable when Jordie actually gets to his dick, but when Jordie tries to pull back, Courts grabs his hips hard enough to bruise and drags him back in.

"You're not backing out of my goodbye fuck," Courts gasps. There's no way Jordie's arguing with that or with how hot and tight Courts is. He keeps moving, and Courts keeps wriggling, and eventually, the noises Courts is making start to sound more the ones Jordie's used to, happy, needy whines and nonsensical cursing.

"Fuck, you're hot," Jordie says. "Why didn't we do this sooner?" It's a stupid question, and anyway he's coming before Courts can say anything else. Courts puts a hand on his own dick, and the way his body clenches around Jordie's spent dick when he comes makes Jordie yell.

"Shut the fuck up, my brother's home," Courts hisses, and drags Jordie down for a sloppy kiss.

"You gotta come back and visit," Jordie mumbles. Courts laughs and pinches his ass.

"You know I will. Can't keep us apart for long."

*

Jamie's first season up with the Stars is kind of rough. He works hard, but the pace of the NHL is totally unlike anything he's dealt with before. Plus, he's never lived alone before. Kid doesn't even have plates. Jordie gets in the habit of calling to check on him, because Jamie's too proud to call himself.

"I'm coming down tomorrow," Jordie says, when Jamie picks up the phone and is too exhausted to do more than grunt in response to his attempts at conversation. "We're going grocery shopping."

What actually happens is that Jordie picks up groceries on the way and methodically stocks Jamie's cabinets while Jamie curls up small on the couch and slurps at a blue Gatorade. Jordie makes American knockoff KD, with hotdogs and broccoli, and because Jamie doesn't have plates, they eat the whole pot hunched over it together on the coffee table.

"I wish you could stay here," Jamie murmurs, his head pillowed on Jordie's thigh. "It's so much nicer when you're around."

Jordie tugs his hair. "Only because I feed you."

"Nuh-uh," Jamie says, burrowing in closer to shove his face against Jordie's belly. Jordie lets him stay there for a little while, but Jamie's breath is hot through the fabric of his t-shirt, and Jordie's only human.

"Come on, bud. Bedtime." Jamie grumbles, but lets Jordie lever him up and bundle him off to brush his teeth and collapse into bed. He fully intends to tuck Jamie in and go sleep in the guest bedroom, because they're adults now and they haven't talked about it, but Jordie's pretty sure they don't do the stuff they did when Jamie was in Kelowna anymore.

"You don't have to leave," Jamie says, in a small voice that makes it sound like he's actually saying, _Please don't leave me_. Jordie's always been weak for that voice. He hurries through brushing his teeth and stripping down to his boxers and crawls back into the bed.

Jamie immediately rolls towards him, curling himself small to fit under Jordie's chin and slotting their legs together. Nothing happens for a minute. Maybe, Jordie thinks, Jamie's too out of it to notice his persistent half-chub, and they're just going to sleep. Then Jamie's thigh creeps a little higher, slow, but not really subtle, til it's pressed firmly against Jordie's dick.

"Want me to help you out with that?" Jamie says, like it's just a muscle cramp or a weird stretch.

"It's fine," Jordie says. "You should go to sleep." His voice is too high, strangled. But Jamie's already started rocking against him, and okay, maybe this is something they're still doing. Jordie's fine with that.

But he's here to take care of Jamie, so pretty soon he heaves Jamie over, settling down on top of him. "Quit it," he says, when Jamie struggles and tries to throw him off. "Relax."

He pinches Jamie's side to drive the point home. Jamie huffs at him, but subsides, arching up into Jordie's touches and making happy, encouraging noises. Jordie tries his best to draw it out, long and slow and easy, so that Jamie's melting into the bed by the time they're done, too worn out and high on the good endorphins to be worried about his play or the team's standings.

"My turn," Jamie says, groping for Jordie's dick. "You can fuck me if you want."

Jordie does want, he _really_ fucking wants, but the end of Jamie's sentence bleeds right into a jaw-cracking yawn, and that kind of ruins the offer. It would be kind of a blow to Jordie's ego if Jamie fell asleep while he had his dick in him.

"When you wake up, maybe," Jordie says. Jamie makes a sleepy noise of agreement, and Jordie reaches down to take care of himself. He presses kisses to Jamie's open, slack mouth, and Jamie hums happily and kisses back, squeezing Jordie's dick helpfully. Jerking him off apparently requires too much coordination, but Jordie rocks into his fist, and it's enough. He comes all over Jamie's hip and thigh.

"Should shower," Jordie says, but Jamie makes a whiny noise of protest, so Jordie settles for swiping them both off with a damp facecloth.

"'m so glad you're here," Jamie mumbles, wriggling around til his face is smushed against Jordie's neck. He's kind of sweaty and his breath is uncomfortably warm and damp against Jordie's skin, even with the air conditioner cranked up, but Jordie can deal with it until he falls asleep.

"Me too, Jay," Jordie says, and squeezes him tight. He can feel sappy declarations of always being there for Jamie rising up in the back of his throat, and he swallows them down. No reason to make things weird. Yeah.

*

Jordie plays three games in the NHL the year Courts graduates from BC. He's got a degree in sports management, and Jordie's got two NHL assists.

"So we're pretty evenly stacked," Courts jokes during their regular Skype call.

"Shut up," Jordie says. "You're, like, prepared for the future and shit. I'm just grinding."

"You're busting your ass. You'll be up there full time next season," Courts says. "Quit selling yourself short."

Jordie shrugs. "Can I come to your graduation?" The Stars aren't in the post-season, again, so he doesn't have much reason to stick around in Texas. He and Jamie are just planning to head back home in a few days.

Courts laughs. "Don't think I'm gonna go. I'd rather be home. Gotta get in shape if I wanna make it to Providence this season." Jordie knows the feeling, but he figures it's kind of rude to compare trying to crack the AHL to his efforts to make the roster in Dallas.

"Then I'll do something nice for you at home," Jordie says. "I'm proud of you, man." If Courts weren't two thousand miles away, Jordie would hug him.

"Shut up, you're so weird," Courts says, but he's grinning. There's a beat, then he adds softly, "I miss you."

Jordie's throat feels kind of tight. They talk all the time, but not like this. They talk about hockey, home, girls and sometimes guys, occasionally the future. Never feelings. "I miss you too, buddy. It sucks that you're still so far away."

"Maybe I'll get traded," Courts says, then shrugs. "Anyway, I'll see you in a couple days. Pick me up at the airport?"

"You got it," Jordie says. "We can grab dinner."

"It's a date." Courts smiles. "Maybe I'll even put out afterwards."

He's been putting out for years without Jordie ever taking him on a date or even doing anything out of the ordinary. It's just them, friends and teammates and hooking up. Cuddling, sometimes, if nobody else is around and they're both feeling it. Jordie should say something before it gets weird, but he's kind of hung up on the realization that maybe he and Courts have been dating since high school.

"Hey, sorry," Courts says after Jordie's failed to say anything for a few seconds. "I didn't mean to make that weird. Adam can pick me up, it's fine."

"No!" Jordie shakes his head. "I'll be there, it's not a problem." He could just let it go at that, pick Courts up at the airport in a few days, take him to dinner, act like nothing's changed. Technically, nothing has. But Jordie's heart is pounding and his palms are sweaty, and it feels like _everything_ has changed, just now, in the space of the last five minutes.

"Do you want it to be a date, Shoots? Like. A real one?"

It's Courts' turn to stare speechless into the webcam, his throat working, and nothing coming out but strangled breathing.

"You don't have to put out if you don't want to," Jordie says inanely, trying to be helpful. Courts lets out a high-pitched, panicky giggle.

"Do _you_ want it to be a date, Darth?"

Jordie shrugs. "Sure. I'll take you somewhere nice. Wear real pants, okay?"

"Okay," Courts says faintly. "See you in a few days, buddy."

*

It's a really nice date. The sex afterwards is even nicer. It still doesn't feel like things have changed, except Jordie can't stop smiling and he feels kind of fluttery and warm inside every time Courts looks at him or touches him or does pretty much anything, really. So maybe a lot has changed.

They go on a second date, to make sure that it's not a fluke, and that one is nice too. The only part that's not nice is telling Jamie about it. Mostly because Jamie figures it out by himself, and springs it on Jordie over deadlifts in their parents' basement.

"When were you gonna tell me that you were done with me?" Jamie says, out of nowhere. Jordie almost falls over his barbell.

"What?"

"Since you and Courts are, like. A thing now. When were you gonna tell me?"

"We've been on two dates, Jay."

Jamie shrugs. "But you've been avoiding me since we got home. Were you ever gonna tell me?"

"I'm not avoiding you! I'm literally hanging out with you right now."

Jamie drops his barbell and hunches his shoulders. "Not like this. The other stuff."

Fuck. "I was gonna tell you after we figured out what we were doing." Jamie's looking at him with big, hurt eyes, and that's not fair. All Jordie did was go on a couple of dates.

"But you don't want me anymore, right?" There's a muscle twitching in Jamie's jaw, but it's not like when he's angry. More like he's trying not to cry. "You can just tell me, Jord, it's whatever. It's fine."

Jordie wants to hug him, but the odds of getting punched when Jamie's upset are almost as high as when he's angry. "I don't wanna tell you that, Jay."

He loves Jamie, and they've been doing--whatever it is they do, fucking, whatever--for so long it feels like just another part of their lives, like training together back home every summer or speaking their made-up language. It's weird, Jordie's plenty willing to admit that, but it's them. He hadn't really thought about how making things official with Courts would change that, even while he'd been avoiding Jamie's touches and significant glances and terrible innuendos. Fuck.

"It's really shitty to jerk me around like this," Jamie says quietly, and that's so, so much worse than the yelling Jordie had been expecting. He doesn't know what to say, and Jamie's apparently not gonna wait around for him to figure it out, already turning and heading upstairs without looking back.

*

Jordie's strategy of spending hours on the heavy bag and pretending like things are fine isn't as effective as he'd hoped it would be. He goes on a couple more dates with Courts, and they're all nice, but Jamie's still avoiding him. Courts invites them both fishing out on his dad's boat, and Jamie doesn't even bother inventing an excuse for why he turns him down.

"You gonna tell me what's eating at Chubbs?" Courts asks, curled up against Jordie on the couch in the basement, like it's 2005 again, except now they're holding hands.

"I dunno," Jordie says. Courts gives him an unimpressed look, and Jordie sighs. "I don't think he'd want me to talk about it." That's true, at least, even if Jordie doesn't wanna talk about it either.

"I hope it's something you guys can work out," Courts says. He squeezes Jordie's hand. "It's not about us, is it?" Jordie hides his face in Courts' shoulder and groans. "Oh no, buddy. Listen, I'm gonna talk to him, okay? We can make this work."

"You can't!" Jordie swallows hard. "I mean. Please don't? It's something we've gotta work out on our own."

Courts sighs. "Okay. Let me know if there's anything I can do. And tell Jamie I miss hanging out with him."

Jordie is so utterly fucked. He's gonna have to talk with Jamie about _feelings_ and then tell Courts everything, and there's no way that conversation is going to go well. He buries his face in Courts' shoulder again and tries to focus on how good he smells and how nice this dating thing was while it lasted.

"You wanna go get food?" Courts says after a while, when Jordie still hasn't moved. Jordie wants to stay on this couch forever and not have to deal with the trainwreck he's made of his life, but that's not really a viable option.

"I should go check in with Jamie," he says. "I'll text you?"

Courts cups his face in his hands and kisses him, deep and slow and sweet like something out of an old-fashioned movie.

"I'll be here. Love you, buddy." It's not the first time he's said it, but it's the first time it's made the bottom drop out of Jordie's stomach. Fuck, he's going to miss this when it's gone.

"Love you too, Shoots. See you later."

*

Jamie doesn't answer Jordie's texts or phone calls, but if Jordie hangs out in the home gym long enough, Jamie'll eventually turn up. He's a creature of habit.

"I don't wanna talk," Jamie says, as soon as he sees Jordie sitting on the weight bench.

"Too bad," Jordie says. "How long are you gonna keep punishing me for dating Courts, dude?"

"I'm not _punishing_ you!" Jamie kicks at the weight stand.

"You kind of are," Jordie says, trying to be gentle. "I wanna fix it, Jay. I know I fucked up, I should've told you. But Justin's--he's really important to me. This is really important to me."

Jamie nods, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "I know. I just thought--I got used to being the most important for you, I guess. And I wasn't expecting it, when you decided you didn't want me anymore."

"I never decided that." Jordie wants to shake him. "You're just as important as Courts. You know how much I love you, Jay, you gotta know."

Jamie nods. That muscle is going in his jaw again. "I do know. Like, you've done so much for me, my whole life. I just wasn't ready to be done with the--the other stuff we do. But I can deal with it. I'll be better."

There's still a not insignificant risk of this conversation going to a punching place, but Jordie reaches out to pull Jamie down onto the weight bench with him anyway and puts an arm around him.

"Was it just sex for you?" Jamie asks in a small voice. "'Cause...I don't think it was for me."

Jordie should have figured that out a long time ago. He probably should have made Jamie talk about it. It's his fault Jamie's sad and hurting now, because there's a lot of stuff Jordie should have done differently. "Of course not, Jay. And--I didn't mean to give it up. I didn't want to, I just--wasn't thinking."

This is probably the most he's talked about his feelings, ever, even with Courts. It's kind of like scraping his chest out with a spoon. Jamie puts his head on his shoulder.

"I don't mind sharing you with Courts. If you want both of us still."

Jordie's breath catches in his throat and a stupid little spark of hope lights up in the pit of his stomach. "I don't know how that'd go over with Courts."

"'Cause you haven't asked him," Jamie says, like it's easy.

"He might decide he doesn't wanna be with me anymore," Jordie says. "Or even be friends with us, after I tell him."

"Oh," Jamie says. It's easy to forget, when it's just the two of them. "Shit. Then maybe you shouldn't." He says it like he'd never spent a second feeling jealous, one hundred percent back on Jordie's side, and Jordie has to put an arm around him and squeeze him tight.

"No, I've gotta tell him. You don't lie to people you love, right?"

Jamie nods. "I'll always be here for you, even if he's not. Promise."

"I know, Jay. Thanks." Jordie presses his lips to Jamie's temple for a minute, then ruffles his hair. "Hey. You wanna spot me while I do some reps?"

Jamie blinks at him, and then giggles, and something eases just a little bit in Jordie's chest.

*

It takes Jordie fifteen reps, half an hour on the heavy bag, and three miles of cardio to wear himself out enough to be able to text Courts without the phone jittering out of his hands.

_hey shoots. can we talk?_

There's a long pause before Courts' reply, and Jordie kicks himself for leading with such an ominous sounding line.

_should i come over?_

_if that's okay_

Courts doesn't say anything back to that.

He lives close, though, so Jordie only has time to work himself halfway to a panic before Courts shows up in the kitchen doorway. He's not smiling, and Jordie's so used to Courts' face lighting up when they see each other that its absence feels like a punch. Jordie wants to hug him, wants to kiss away the anxious lines framing his mouth and eyes, but he's pretty sure that would be a bad idea right now.

"Hey, Shoots. You want, uh, water or Gatorade or anything?"

Courts shakes his head. "What's up?"

"I don't want to break up with you!" Jordie says, because that feels like the most important thing and he's not sure Courts knows. 

Courts tilts his head, still closed off and anxious, but maybe a little bit softer. "That's great? I wasn't planning on breaking up with you either."

"Okay, but I fucked up. I gotta tell you something, and then you can break up with me. If you want to. I hope you don't want to. But I'll understand if you do."

That hint of softness in Courts' expression is gone again. Jordie's going to puke.

"Just tell me," Courts says. "Come on, Jordie, I can't do this right now."

"Me and Jamie," Jordie whispers. "We had a--a thing, I guess?"

"The same kind of thing you and me had?" Courts asks. He doesn't look mad or grossed out, but maybe he just doesn't get it yet.

"Mostly. Yeah. And then you and me happened, you know, for real."

Courts scrubs at his face. "So that's why Jamie's mad at me?"

"He's not mad! Not anymore. We talked, and he--he said I should ask if I could have both. If you could do that. He thinks he could."

"I don't know if I can," Courts says, but he's smiling and walking around the table to Jordie and putting his arms around him. Jordie sags into him, confused and worried, but he's never been able to resist melting into Courts. "I can try though."

Jordie pulls back to look at him. "What?"

"Me and Jamie have been figuring out how to share your own whole lives," Courts says, rubbing his cheek against Jordie's hair. "Just because we've got labels and talk about our feelings, that doesn't mean anything actually has to change, right? We were all pretty happy before."

"I don't wanna pressure you," Jordie says. "You're in charge of setting up this play."

"It's not about anybody being in charge," Courts says. "It's about us being a team. We were pretty good, back on the Grizzlies, me and you and Chubbs. Let's give it another shot."

*

Three seasons later, Courts comes to Texas. He's out in Allen, back down in the ECHL, but it doesn't matter. They're together again in all the ways that count, and there's plenty of room for him in Jamie's gigantic house.

"We should get a dog," Jordie says, watching Jamie and Courts toss a football around in the backyard, careful to take it easy on Jamie's new hips. "A family dog, now that we're all here together."

"Like, it'd belong to all of us?" Jamie says, wandering over and flopping down beside Jordie's chair for head scritches.

"Yeah. It'd be, like, symbolic." They don't need it--he and Courts have made their promises to each other already, and Jamie and Courts are best friends, and Jordie and Jamie are inseparable. They don't need it, but it would be nice.

"Like a mascot," Jamie says, and Courts laughs.

"Yeah, let's do it. The best team in Texas definitely needs a mascot."


End file.
